In her article, “The No. 1 Barrier To Good Sex For Women Over 50 — And How To Overcome It,” Tracey Cox makes the mistake — easy enough to do in the “body positivity” literature — of pandering to women.  “Just feel good about yourself and everything will fall into place,” she advises.

What Men Find Attractive

But, however good and revved up you may feel about yourself, what will happen if you still are not getting positive results?  Your partner rolls over and snores, and the men at the supermarket pay no attention at all.

This lack of response is because the body-positivity industry pays no attention to how to attract men.  Indeed, writers such as Cox would be seen as sell-outs to male chauvinism if they wrote, in concrete terms, about what you have to do, at whatever age, to turn on an existing partner or attract a new one.  “Not worrying about making herself feel good but about making someone else feel good.”

And this has nothing to do with lines, stretch marks, or whatever.  Remember that these fifty-year-old women are trying to turn on fifty-year-old men, not twenty-year-olds.  Granted, post-adolescent males may not be totally jazzed  over the signs of ageing that are inevitable in both sexes.  But we’re not talking about them!

Learn From the Adult Entertainment Industry

So, what do you have to do to turn on the pre-geriatric male crowd, most of whom have been around the block a couple of times or have fantasized about going around it?

Here, the adult industry is your friend.  There has been a huge take-up in women looking at porn. Partly because they get off on it, just as men do.  But also because porn offers lessons in variety.

Variety.  This is the key.  Offer something new.  Unquestionably, the biggest new porn theme is roleplaying — meaning, women-on-top plus fetish.  A lot of men find this incredibly appealing, because they’ve never had it in their real lives.  They fantasize about it, and if you turn up in a pair of high-heeled black boots, you may be amazed at the response.  Nobody actually cares about your lines, or a few pounds here and there.  But a leather jacket, boots, and a confident stride can be a game-changer.

Exoticism Pays Off

You are not making yourself a passive vehicle of male desire.  You are not catering to the patriarchy.  You are behaving in a way that will get men to desire you, which was the point of Cox’s piece.  But they won’t desire you because you are brimming with self-confidence.  They will desire you because you seem to offer the hint of an exotic experience.  And for a fifty-year-old man, this is worth a lot.