Call me skeptical, but I don’t believe that Miley Cyrus decorates her home with sex toys, despite a Yahoo news report that says she does. The idea is is wildly impractical. How would the logistics work?

“This is my vibrator sofa, but be careful where you sit.  Oh, sorry about that.”

Or does she use things like a plaster cast of porn superstar Kayden Kross’s perineum as an end table?  How convenient that would be for visiting gentleman friends in the event that Miley has a headache that night.

A Publicity Agent’s Ploy

No, the sex-toy-as-decor idea was clearly dreamed up by her publicity agent as a means of juicing a faltering career. And notice the story’s cover photo: Miley’s “porn face” with her tongue lasciviously protruding.  Since nobody does a porn-face like this in real life, she clearly was coached.

What I found of greater interest in the story was Miley’s very mechanical — almost Trumpian  — view of sentimental relations:

“I just encourage people to be logical [about relationships]—don’t drown in emotion, make your fucking list, look at what somebody is contributing and what someone is subtracting from your life, and then make an executive decision.” To sum up? “If you’re not happy, get the fuck out.”

Where’s the Love?

This is actually quite monstrous:  “I have this checklist, and the minute you stop checking box #3, you’re gone.”

No attachment?  No falling in love?

The essence of a loving relationship is the empathetic ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.  “I have this checklist, and it’s all about making you happy.”

I don’t know Miley personally, and maybe she isn’t as awful as this quote makes her sound.  Maybe the publicity agent came up with that, too.