A recent CNN piece by Lisa Respers France about Eric Dane is just a gloss on a Glamour magazine story about him as “Mark Sloan” in “Gray’s Anatomy” and “Cal Jacobs” in the new teen drama “Euphoria.”

“McSteamy,” as he was known in “Grey’s Anatomy,” is into some pretty steamy stuff on “Euphoria” — full frontal nudity, etc. So what’s the difference between “Euphoria” and porn? Lots of pundits are going to be asking this question. But they won’t know how to answer it because, they don’t know anything about porn. (See my book, Stormy’s World.)

Right off the top, there won’t be any penetration shown on “Euphoria.” (I’ll bet the kitchen sink).

There are several other interesting differences:

1. The 17-year-old transsexual that “Cal Jacobs” has sex with is underage for porn! The adult industry would never, ever feature a real 17-year-old. And when “Traci Lords” (Nora Kuzma) turned out to be underage after having shot a hundred-plus videos, it was a financial disaster for the industry, because all that stock had to be removed from sale. So, on HBO, different rules.
2. In his interview for Glamour, Dane was coy about exactly how the sex scenes are shot, but he said it was “protocol” to use a “prosthesis,” and an “intimacy coordinator” looked after all the sexy stuff. In porn, there’s no intimacy coordinator. (I believe he’s called “the director.”) And the male talent supply their own wood. In porn, the only people wearing prostheses are the female talent with strap-on’s — either to penetrate a male actor anally or to have sex with another woman.
3. But Dane, rather wistfully, makes it sound like porn. “Look, if it makes more sense to not use a prosthetic, I’m willing to go there,” he says. This is delicacy-speak for “I’m willing to have a full-blast erection.” Oh, really? And how would we get our erection? In porn, male “woodsmen” are paid to get erect spontaneously, without a lot of “fluffing.” But this is HBO, and guys like Dane will probably not just become erect on command. They need help. So, this would be a bit of a problem for the intimacy coordinator: Who is going to help “Cal Jacobs” get wood? This will happen-off camera, of course, but on-set. You can understand why a prosthesis is standard. The directors don’t want intimacy behind the camera; they want it in front.

There will be lots of huffing and puffing about Euphoria from the Family Values brigade. Listen, folks, you’ve lost control. Teens know how to watch it without your permission. And they will. They’ll think it’s porn.